With Mothers Day fast approaching, those with children, throw themselves into celebrating-seldom giving thought to those who aren’t celebrating as they should be able to.
With 1 in 4 women losing a baby during pregnancy or birth, that’s 1 in 4 women, not celebrating being a Mum on a day that should be theirs.
Then there are those women who’ve had babies before their losses, in between their losses, or after their losses. Those that are told to be happy that they have children-to be grateful they’ve already got their babies. Those that are questioned on how they can still dwell on their losses, when they went on to carry their children to term.
This Mothers Day-we all might spare a thought for those struggling through the day-regardless of circumstance.
Every Mothers Day, since I’ve had my children, I receive a card and some gifts from my Son and Daughter.
Something that I don’t mention, is the slight tainted feeling surrounding not just Mothers Day, but most celebrations that my children take part in.
In complete honesty, I long for the cards and gifts I’ll never get given, from the children I’ll never meet.
I know what people would think/say; how can I long for things from three little blobs on a screen. Three little “things” that never grew, were never held, never nursed, never seen.
My answer will always be; because those three “things” were always loved, always wanted, always mine.
Yes I have two children-but I’m a Mum of five. I carried five babies-regardless of how long for, or the outcome. I have two babies celebrating Mothers Day with me here on Earth, but three angels I wish I could celebrate with too.
I understand that it doesn’t make sense to some. I understand people’s assumptions that I should be happy with the two I have.
Most of me is happy-I focus on my two little ones, and the joy I feel when they burst in excitedly, with shouts of HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MUMMY!!!
But the day-to-day grief that has filled my life since we lost our three little ones, is hard enough, without it being amplified during celebrations such as Mothers Day.
Everything is tainted-it has been from the day we lost our first angel.
Everyday is a challenge-it always has been.
But everyday is filled with love-love for my children, my husband, my family and of course, love and constant recognition of my angels.
I’m content in my world, and will continue celebrating another Mothers Day as a Mum of five.
For more information on the work Tommy’s do-head over to their website https://www.tommys.org/.