My Message To You

This is by far one of the easiest blogs I think I’ve ever written, and will probably ever write.

It is a blog filled with different messages-those of hope, sadness, disbelief, anger, thanks and fellowship.

Today, I was made aware, that the BBC, and other news outlets were talking about a subject so close to my heart.

For months (possibly over a year), I’ve been blogging about my experiences of baby loss, trying to raise awareness for recurrent miscarriages and mental health issues surrounding and following on from losing a baby.

Most of the blogs I write, highlight two major mental health issues, incidentally, two I suffer from-anxiety and depression.  But these issues stem from one other diagnosis I have also been given, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Months have been spent, blogging about this subject, and never having it picked up on by anyone.  The overriding consistencies throughout mine and others experiences are that people suffer from anxiety and depression following the loss of a baby during early pregnancy.

Today, PTSD has been recognised by so many people as a issue now suffered by more than is acceptable.  A lack of aftercare following early pregnancy losses, has shown to magnify mental health issues.

One of my blogs surrounding my issues was shared today by Tommy’s here.  The response has been overwhelming to say the least.  I am saddened, by the amount of mothers who have commented with similar stories to mine-those of hopelessness, loneliness and defeat.

Those women who felt like they were alone in what they were going through, because the people who were supposed to help them, didn’t.

Those women who felt like they, like me, were losing the person they used to be, taken over by fear, anxiety, depression, and sadness.

Those women who had lost so many babies, but hadn’t been told why they’d lost so many, it had become the “new normal” in their lives.

Those women who are currently going through a miscarriage, who are concerned that there is no help, no one to turn to, and have been told “it’s just something that happens”.

To those women I just want to say, you’re never alone.  I would message every single one of you if I could, all day, every day, comforting you and helping you feel like you have someone.  I want you to get the help and aftercare you not only need, but deserve.  You’ve lost a baby, your baby-that doesn’t “just happen” and it isn’t something you’ll “get over”.  You need to speak with people that can help-you need correct aftercare that is going to help you understand why what’s happened, has happened.

Things have to change, this has never been acceptable, and will no longer be accepted by those of us who’ve lost babies.

The “thanks” I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, has come from those who have messaged me thanking me for my honesty and braveness when writing about my experiences.  Others have thanked me for making them feel less alone, and giving them the fight to go and get help.  This is why I blog-so these messages mean more to me than you can imagine.

The other reason for the thanks, comes from me.  I’d like to thank those who continuously support me, and my ranting blogging.  This subject is something so super close to my heart, I’d move heaven and high water to change everything about it.  The stigma attached to talking about it, the process you go through during a miscarriage, the aftercare (or lack of it in mine and so many others cases), just everything.  The support from those who message me, from those who comment on my posts, from friends and family continuously helping me through the bad days, those are the people I’m thankful for.  The continuous support shown to me from Tommy’s and The Miscarriage Association, is also something I am truly grateful for-and I will continue to support them in their campaigns as they have supported me through mine.

Please remember, you’re not alone, ever.  Lets fight for the aftercare we all deserve so badly.


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