Helicopter Parenting Some have heard of this term, others may be wondering what it is.
To clarify, “helicopter parenting” relates to a parent that hovers around their child, being overprotective, shadowing them, keeping a short distance between them, in case of accidents and other life issues.
As those who follow my blog posts will know, I suffer with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD). To date, I haven’t received any prescribed medication from my GP, choosing instead to find alternative ways to deal with my symptoms, and, sometimes, choosing to medicate only with natural remedies.
Because of this, I am always on the lookout for new and improved natural remedies.
Kalms Lavender one-a-day capsules
Kalms have brought out just that. For the first time in the UK, the anxiety-relieving effects of uniquely prepared, pharmaceutical quality lavender oil are now available, only in Kalms Lavender One-A-Day Capsules.
More than 15 clinical trials studied, showed that a daily capsule of uniquely prepared, pharmaceutical quality lavender oil, can relieve the symptoms of anxiety. The trials also showed that an beneficial effect was evident in only two weeks, and that the capsules were found to be as effective as commonly used anti-anxiety medication.
Anxiety is one of my biggest issues in life-because it is SO hard to overcome when it takes you down.
I sometimes wonder if the things I take are only helping on a psychological level-in the sense that I feel better just because I’m taking something-not because I’m taking something that works.
With lavender oil, we all know that it’s a calming ingredient-it’s something that works to relieve symptoms of stress and anxiety. Now however, we also know thanks to the studies done by Kalms, that the natural ingredient of lavender oil, has a much more beneficial effect when it’s uniquely prepared, and of pharmaceutical quality.
So, what are the signs of anxiety?
You could be reading this blog, wondering what the signs of anxiety are. Maybe you think you’ve got some signs of it, but would like some clarification.
Some anxiety symptoms aren’t shown by all people, some will suffer with more than one thing, or maybe suffer with one symptom more than others.
Personally, my symptoms appear to have evolved since my diagnosis. I now suffer with palpitations, an upset stomach, nausea, hot flushes, dizziness and anxious thoughts lead me to lose sleep.
My palpitations and upset stomach are the more serious for me, I suffer with these more than the others-but all of my symptoms depend on the severity of the anxious situation I’m in at the time.
If you’re unsure what you’re looking for, take a look at this short video, brought to you by Kalms.
Unfortunately, anxiety is one of the most prevalent mental health conditions in the UK – one in five people report feeling anxious a lot or all of the time; and more than 45 million working days have been lost due to anxiety (combined with depression and stress) in the past three years.
For those of us that have children, there is a worry that our issues are affecting them, that we may pass on those issues to them as they grow.
Personally, I try very hard to keep my issues at bay until the children are not around. But I’m well aware that the severity of some people’s anxiety disorder can prevent them from being able to hide it from anyone.
What causes anxiety?
If like me, you’re a bit of a ‘Googler’, you’ll be wanting to know just what causes anxiety.
Anxiety UK CEO Nicky Lidbetter said; These feelings occur due to an ‘imbalance’ in the way the body processes environmental and sensory stimuli. A disproportionate ‘excitatory’ response, and excessive release of neurotransmitters between nerve cells in the brain, leads to overstimulation of the nervous system and feelings of anxiety.
So why should we use kalms lavender capsules?
Professor of Psychiatry Dr Siegfried Kasper, who was involved in a number of the clinical trials commented; “This is a very exciting development for anxiety as the research demonstrates the lavender oil capsules not only reduce both physical and psychological symptoms of anxiety but also have a beneficial effect on health-related quality of life, without problems such as sedation, addiction or interaction with other medications. Benefits are also evident after just two weeks”.
Personally, my issues with medical intervention are that I don’t want to feel sleepy or addicted-so these lavender capsules really are beneficial for me.
Another plus for me is the price-I do find the more expensive types of natural remedies tend to not work any better than the cheaper ones-I often get sucked in to believing the large price tag is testament to the quality of the product, which is more than often not the case.
Kalms Lavender One-A-Day Capsules, are priced at a really reasonable £6.49, and are available from Boots, Asda, and at the Kalms website-HERE.
If you’re struggling to control and cope with feelings and symptoms of anxiety, Anxiety UK provides support & information on anxiety, stress and anxiety based depression.
The charity is user-led, supported by a clinical advisory panel.
Visit their website at www.anxietyuk.org.uk, or call their national infoline on; 08444 775 774.
Take a look at my other mental health blogs HERE, and my other product reviews HERE.
I was sent ‘Loving The Life Less Lived‘ by Gail Marie Mitchell to review to coincide with Mental Health Awareness Week.
Gail suffers from anxiety and depression-and has done for many years. After struggling to try and beat her mental illnesses, she finally decided to accept them instead, using her own tips and tools, culminating in her decision to write this book. Continue reading “Loving The Life Less Lived-Book Review”→
I’ve spent the last week watching the much talked about Netflix programme, 13 Reasons Why.
I’ve also seen so many mixed reviews-so many opinions on the subject of suicide and mental health issues being made so accessible to young viewers throughout this programme.
Last night I received a voicemail from a new NHS team, providing mental healthcare in my area.
I’ve been on their waiting list for the best part of two months, and to get that voicemail saying there was an appointment ready, was a massive boost for me.
I called them back today and was told the appointment is for tomorrow. Now, I know I should be grateful to have been taken off of the waiting list to get an appointment, but I can’t do anything with such short notice-as I’m a Mum of two and my husband works full time. Continue reading “Where Have All The Therapists Gone?”→
Over the last few months, slowly my Mental Health issues have improved. Let’s not get confused-I’m not cured-far from it! What I have done, is gradually accept the person I now am.
For so long, I fought so hard-against what my brain was telling me, against how I felt. I hated the person I was, I hated who the Anxiety had made me.
I blamed myself, and my issues, for everything. The reason the housework wasn’t done. The reason I hadn’t seen anyone outside of my house for weeks. The reason people weren’t wanting to be around me anymore. I was having “down days“, “dark days“, “bad Anxiety days“. Everything I did, every thing I had become, was blamed on Anxiety.
Anxiety was to blame. And PTSD was to blame for that. Losing three babies and having no Mental Health aftercare was to blame for that. The list of things to blame for this one Mental Health issue, goes on and on-I’m a psychiatrists field day!
I can’t explain what changed, or when it changed. I can only tell you what I have come to realise now.
As a blogger, the realisation that I’m actually good at something-something I truly love doing, and get complimented on often, has helped massively. I know I can write-and as an outlet for everything going through my silly old brain, regardless of whether it makes it to the website or not, really aids my recovery from those “dark days“.
6 months ago, I wouldn’t have left the house without having some form of Anxiety attack. Now I’m attending press nights in a busy theatre, filled with people. I talk to strangers, and I write my reviews, knowing others will read them.
Yes I’m still anxious about any negativity that may come from my writing, or worried a stranger that I speak to may not like me-but it doesn’t stop me anymore.
6 months ago, I couldn’t have imagined travelling to London alone, or anywhere really. Yet, I’ve now lost count of the amount of times I’ve made it to the big city, remarking on how stupid I felt about the Anxiety attack I’d had earlier in the day. It’s not stupid-it’s normal for me. But actually, every time that has happened, a little bit of strength has found its way back to me-giving anxiety a tiny kick and saying “we did it, we beat you”.
6 months ago, I wouldn’t dare send an email pitching my blog to companies, to ask them to work with me, for fear of a nasty reply, (or no reply), and that horrible feeling of rejection I was always so worried of getting.
Now, I pitch most days, and yes, people are rude, and yes, people are ignorant, but surrounding those who are ignorant and rude, there are a handful of people, complimenting my work, saying yes straight away, based on my website and blogs, and giving me opportunities I wouldn’t have got without pitching.
2 months ago, I wouldn’t have dared to do anything in my local area that would shine a light on me. Knowing people are so close, and may judge me to my face, would’ve prevented me even writing about my local area anonymously. Yet here I am, writing for my local news website, thankful for another opportunity someone gave me that enables me to do even more of what I love.
There was a time, when I didn’t recognise who I was. When people seemed to be friends with me to make their lives look better. When misery loved company-and I was that company.
There were times, when I’d spend days crying, wishing I was someone else. Wondering where everything had gone so wrong.
Now, there are times, when I’m thankful for those who left when they did-to those who showed me, being around them was hindering my growth as a person.
Nowthere are times, when I don’t cry for weeks, and actually, I wonder why I ever let Anxiety take over my life so much.
As I said previously-I’m in no way cured. I’m just learning to accept what has happened to me-to accept who I now am, and roll with it, rather than fight it. Those “dark days” will still come. Those “down days” will still take over. Just not as often, and not as brutally as they first did.
I know it’s not easy, but if you’re feeling the way I did, the way I still do sometimes, accept it, grow from it.
Write that pitch, send that letter, make that phone call, dump those that don’t accept you-that can’t be there for you, find your happy and roll with it……
Today we celebrate our 12th anniversary. 12 years of memories-the best days and the worst days. I can’t list 12 years worth of memories-so here are just some…….
On the 28th of March 2005, an 18 year old me, and a 19 year old you met in our local town. We’d known each other (on and off) since we were 7
Within a few months (6 to be exact), we were on our first holiday together.
The 6th of October 2005 you asked me to be your wife. We didn’t even live together but I knew I wanted to marry you.
At the end of March 2006 we moved in together. Our first flat and we loved it.
5th June 2009. Our world changed. I was pregnant. Unplanned but so wanted we realised we really wanted to be parents.
17th June 2009. You supported me during one of the toughest times. Nanny dying, while I was pregnant and planning our wedding was tough. But you stayed strong for me.
1st August 2009. The day i became your wife.
One of the best days of my life-becoming one with you.
7th February 2010. Our son was born. Kye George Peter Willson, bundled into our lives and turned them upside down. Another of my favourite days-watching you become a Daddy was one of the best things I’ve ever seen.
28th September 2011. Our family was growing. Another baby on the way. Our hearts were fuller then they’ve ever been. Plans for our new arrival were underway.
26th October 2011. Our new baby was gone. 8 weeks 3 days. No heartbeat. No baby.
Once again you were so strong. You kept me going when my world had crumbled.
1st September 2012. We tried for so long to have another baby after we lost our angel. We fell pregnant again. But just days later we lost another angel. I was distraught. You were strong once more.
7th November 2012. Another lost baby. I was done. Numb. No more babies for us. You said we’d see what happened. I was done.
27th January 2013. Emergency appointment at the early pregnancy unit. A scan showed a beating heart. Another chance-our 5th pregnancy.
27th September 2013. Olivia-May Barbara Willson-our rainbow after so many storms. Our family was complete and so was my heart.
Following Olivia’s 1st birthday-I realised something was wrong. I wasn’t feeling myself and I wanted it sorted.
Since my first visit to the doctor regarding how I felt, up until today, I’ve had counselling, and I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety and depression all caused by my miscarriages.
You give me the support I so often need, so much that I often worry you’re too strong too often.
Since being diagnosed with those mental illnesses, I’ve bought my website. I now write anything I fancy, any time. My Work.
You often tell me how clever I am. How good my writing is. You don’t realise how much those words mean to me. I now go to blogger events, often having a meltdown before every single one, and have regular anxiety and panic attacks. But you always have hope and faith in me. You tell me I can do it. You tell me I’ll be fine. You’re always right but you know I’ll not remember the next time I’m facing that battle-so you tell me again and again each time.
You work so hard for our family. I know it’s not easy. I’m so proud you’re so hard working and a perfect role model for our children.
12 years have passed and we’re not the same people we once were. So much has changed. We’ve changed. But we’re still us. We’re still one. We’re still together.
I am grateful for you, I am thankful to fate for bringing us together. And I love you today, and every day.
Do you ever feel like you’re being beaten? Beaten by something that’s basically “all in your head”?!
This week (and month if I’m honest) has been a really hard one with my anxiety and depression.
Nothing major has happened, but little things have cropped up, and, instead of those things going over my head like they should do, they seem to have affected me more than ever.
I’m suddenly at a stage where I just want rid of it all-the anxiety attacks have changed their symptoms, and I’ve been toying with starting medication-something I never wanted to do.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve changed a lot this last couple of months . I aimed to make 2017 a positive one, attempting to focus on the good things that happen rather than the bad.
I’m doing well, I’m in a much better place than I was this time last year.
I’m more confident, which is a massive thing for me. I’ll never think I’m anything special (mainly because I’m not), but, I know I’m good at something for once, and compliments I continue to be given remind me of that.
I’m busy! This may seem like a negative to some, but due to my social anxiety, and lack of confidence, making plans and socialising eluded me for a while.
Blogging has taken me places I never thought I’d go, and I thank my lucky stars every day that I have these opportunities-they’re one of the main things that keep me going.
For all the positives I find, the negatives start creeping back in, especially when my mental health is as bad as it has been.
Recent events have shown me how alone I am, and I never thought I’d feel alone!
Of course I have the children-and as I always mention in these sort of blogs, they’re what get me out of bed in the morning.
And I have my husband. But recently, him working random hours, with seemingly little down time, alongside me going straight out to events some evenings, has left me feeling a little “single”.
I don’t have a Mum, someone I can go and see for advice or a shoulder to cry on (she’s not dead, see HERE for why I don’t have a ‘Mum’).
My Dad lives 20-30 minutes away (dependent on what transport I use), and, although I know he’s on the end of the phone or at the end of that journey to see him, he has his own life too, and I don’t always feel like I can burden him with my stuff.
I don’t have many friends. This has never been much of an issue for me-I prefer a smaller group (less people to get my hopes up they’re going to stick around). But the ones I do/did have are even starting to dwindle now.
I’m a great believer in “those who mind don’t matter, and those that matter don’t mind”. If people don’t want to be in my life anymore that’s fine, but I now can’t help feeling like I’ve gone through life wasting my time on people that aren’t going to last.
Sometimes I just don’t feel like I have anyone. Loneliness is the worst feeling in the world, and it’s the one thing I currently keep going back to.
I’m just lost sometimes on how to fight these invisible illnesses, and how to shake the feelings that engulf my every day moments.
I worried so much that you’d be alone and you’d need me. Your two siblings joined you and you weren’t alone anymore.
I wondered what you three would’ve looked like down here. Of course there wouldn’t have been three of you down here would there. There was only ever going to be one more. And only one joined us.
I wish I could tell your brother and sister about you. But what would I say?
How I beat myself up every day that I’m still grieving for you. But grieving for you means I’m not thinking of Olivia. Because if you were here I wouldn’t have her would I. So does that mean I have to choose? Choose being happy you’re not here because she is?
She was all we’d wished for and more. She was our rainbow after our stormy horrible days and our sleepless sad nights.
I still worry she’ll be taken from me too. Like you were. Who do I blame for that? What do I blame for that?
The PTSD-that I got after losing you? Do I blame the drs for not helping me to grieve and deal with the trauma properly? Or do I blame myself-the one person who should’ve kept you safe-who had a responsibility to keep you safe. And failed.
How easy it is for everyone else to forget you. To not remember I was having you. To oversee the events that shaped me into who I am now-to not consider why I am like I am because of you three.
Why don’t they remember you like I do?
I just don’t know anymore. I don’t know if you heard me, begging you not to leave me. Trying so hard to keep you in. I don’t know why I couldn’t keep you in.
I’ll never know anything-never have any answers as to why what happened, happened.