When we think of Bullying, what comes to mind?
For some, its the memory of being a child, being picked on for how they looked, how they acted, or how they learnt at school.
For others, it could be the memory of witnessing a fellow child at school being bullied.
How many of us see that word, ‘Bullying’ and see a group of adults, picking on a fellow adult?
When we think of bullying, usually kids in a playground come to mind, not adults, neighbours or colleagues in a workplace. However, the young bullies of yesterday can (and do) turn into the adult bullies of tomorrow.
I could write a blog based on my own experiences and rant about how, even today, I still find myself the victim of adult bullies, who’s sole purpose is to bring me, and others down, to gain power over those that don’t “fit in”.
Instead, I decided to raise awareness of Adult Bullying, and give some tips and thoughts on what YOU can do, to cope with what’s happening.
- Don’t bite. What bullies want is to see their words affect you. They want a reaction from not only their victims, but from peers, friends, and family. It makes them feel powerful and successful. So if something gets said, don’t bite, keep your head held high and don’t let them see its affected you.
- Remember its more about them than it is you. When someone says something mean to you, it isn’t a reflection of you, it’s a reflection of them. Most adult bullies, were either bullies as children, bullied as children, or have deep issues with their own personalities or looks.
- Keep the faith. In time, people will see the bully for who they are. It might take some time, but keep faith that one day, they will end up sad and alone, because people have seen the “true” them.
- Understand, that just because words are said, it doesn’t make them true. The only person that knows you, is you! The people talking about you, know nothing about you. They’re working on the facts they’ve fabricated amongst their friends and in their own heads. Just because they think you’re this, that and the other, it doesn’t make it true.
- Talk to someone. This was a really important constant message I used to get told a lot as a child, and I think its important for adults too. Talk to someone, anyone, about what you’re going through. You’re never alone in what’s happening, someone either knows someone who’s been/is going through it, or has been through it themselves.
If it’s deliberately being done to hurt your feelings, it’s bullying.
If it’s meant to hurt you, then it’s bullying.
There’s no situation where bullying is acceptable.
You have more power in this than you think. Use it!
Please see the following websites, helpline numbers are on there and advice for those in these situations.