Justifying Decisions, Why Do I Continue To Do This?

As a parent of two children, life can throw judgement your way.

Rather, judgemental people in life can throw judgement your way.

So often I have found myself justifying the choices I make, not just for the children, but for me too.

After a toxic friendship with a woman who would negatively judge the majority of my decisions, I now feel that I have to be ready for further comments about the choices I make.  I am now, armed with my ammo of words, to explain why I do what I do.

But why do I still do this?  What am I gaining from being ready for someone thinking negatively about me, when most really won’t even have an opinion.

 

Examples of situations I’ve had to defend myself in, or am ready to defend myself in, include;

Why is my child still in a pushchair?
She isn’t always, sometimes her little legs are tired or she’s sick, I can’t expect her to walk long journeys if that’s the case.

Why do you let your children watch TV?
I don’t let her watch tons, but in my opinion children need to relax too!  That’s their way of relaxing (as well as Kye’s xbox-shoot me now), and it doesn’t have any negative effect on them!

Why did you move your son to a new school, mid-term, only a few weeks before he was moving schools anyway?
Because he was unhappy at his last school, after some really severe issues, and didn’t want to go to the next school as he was afraid it would be the same there (I’d also heard bad things about it) and the OFSTED report was terrible.  The new school is one of the best, and to get an opportunity to get him somewhere he can flourish, rather than beaten down mentally, isn’t one to be dismissed.

Why do you Mother your son so much? (A true favourite of the above mentioned ex-friend)
Because he’s my son, and I’m his Mum. (I mean in fairness, this came from a fellow parent who openly called her child weird and said she disliked him the majority of the time).  I had children to look after and love with every part of me.  If that’s Mothering, I don’t care.

Why do you blog?  It’s not a proper job! (God I love this one….)
I blog because I can.  Don’t we all try and do something we’re good at in life?  No it’s not a proper job-I don’t get paid for it (yet), but I do work constantly-on days where my children are at school and nursery, I’ll work from 9:15-2:45, then from 6:30 when they go to bed, until 10:30.  Who else works those hours, while negotiating school runs, dinner times, bedtimes, bath times, housework and everything in between?

 

At the end of the day, these are my children, this is my life, these are my choices.  I shouldn’t have to think up reasons why I do what I do, to defend myself against others judgement.
I need to start learning to not give a shit really…..so why is that so hard to do?

Do you also find yourself ready to defend because of previous judgement?  Or are you hardened to it?

 

 

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