The Trouble Isn’t Facebook….

My Dad always goes on about how he hates the idea of Facebook.  As a member of staff in a school, as a parent of three, he has an opinion of the social media platform, even though he’s never even been on it.

People use it in the wrong way.  It should be used to stay in touch with people who aren’t nearby, not to get one over on people, to use people’s words against them-I can’t bear it!

My god how we’ve bickered about it.  How I’ve defended the reason I use it.  In the end we agreed to disagree, and I just never bring up anything about it.

 

Just over a week ago, I ended up disagreeing with my own opinion, the opinion I’ve tried to convince my Father about so often.

My Facebook, was no longer being used to stay in contact with those that don’t live close by.  It wasn’t being used for people to send me funny posts, or sweet messages on my wall.

Instead, I had messages sent, from disgruntled people,who’d been fed information twisting my words, or in some cases, making things up I’d apparently said.  After a terrible few days in “the real world” and the realisation that a large amount of people who see into “My Facebook world”, were no longer people I could trust, I decided to deactivate it-I didn’t need it, until I realised that actually, I did.  Why should I suffer and not be able to speak to/catch up with the ones I do trust, that have never screwed me over?  Instead, I decided to delete those that I didn’t trust any longer/that I didn’t often speak to.

To cut a long story short, I deleted 28 people.  Some of those were family members (that sounds harsh I know).  But they were family members who don’t speak to me, don’t visit us, don’t see our children.  While speaking to a friend I mentioned most won’t even notice I’ve deleted them-and if they did, and they questioned it, I’d explain.  Those who were bothered enough about my “friendship” would make the effort to message me/text me and keep in contact.

A week went by, and no one messaged, and I knew then I’d made the right decision.  I’ve mainly used my Facebook for sharing my blog posts, but I know whatever I post, I can trust people not to twist my words, or share my posts back to those I don’t have time for.

Then 2 messages came through, a few days apart, but identical in content.

Why have you deleted me? Have I done something wrong?!

I replied with what I’d said to my friend, that I wanted it to be as private as possible now, that I’d had too many issues with it, and that’s not what I wanted from it.  That if people wanted to keep in touch, I was able to be inbox messaged, text messaged, Whatsapp messaged, or spoken to in person (plenty of ways to contact me!)

One of the people, replied saying that it was understandable, and they’d just worried they’d done something wrong-a worry I quickly eradicated.  We had a conversation.  We’ll keep in touch.

The other person didn’t reply at all.  Read the message, clearly got the arse about my reasons for doing so, and didn’t even respond.  We haven’t spoken since.

I wasn’t fussed.  In fact, I was quite smug.  I had been proved right in my reasons for doing what I’d done, and seen first hand the two types of people you end up with when doing something like this.

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The trouble isn’t Facebook-it’s the people using it.

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