Just let me rest

“Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night.” William Blake

Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE anxiety?

I’m sure I have before. Maybe not in those words but I’m pretty sure you’ve previously got the gist of how I feel on the subject. 

I mean, who would say they liked being an anxiety sufferer? Errrrrm-no one. 

William Blake is quoted in saying we should think in the morning, act in the noon, eat in the evening and sleep at night. 

Although his words were probably not meant to be instructions to everyone, I think, those are the correct things to do, in the right order. 

So what makes an anxiety sufferer unable to do those things in that order?

I have no answers. 

Right this second? I only have one thing. Frustration. 

I’m so sick of laying in bed, night after night, waiting to feel exhausted enough that I can drop off and go to sleep. 


“Just close your eyes and relax” I’ve been told. 

“Empty your mind of all thoughts and you’ll go to sleep easily”, I’ve read. 

I close my eyes and all I see are images of things that need doing, (things that don’t need doing), things that could happen (but things that won’t happen). 

I try to empty my mind of all thoughts and somehow, more enter, and then there’s too many to contend with, so they win!

I’m in pain, my tummy is sore, and while I’m waiting to see a doctor that can actually help me, I’m worrying about how much worse this could get, what I could possibly have, the complications that could arise.

I’m tired. I’m so tired. Physically and mentally. I need a break.
I need rest. 

I need sleep. 

I need to be the old me again.


Xx

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