#HelloYellow ~ Young Minds ~ Supporting Our Children’s Mental Health

Being a Mental Health Blogger myself, it goes without saying how important my children’s mental health is too.

 

So when I saw my Son’s school were supporting Young Minds-the UK’s leading charity championing the well-being and mental health of young people-on World Mental Health Day 2017, there wasn’t any doubt in my mind that I would support them too. Continue reading “#HelloYellow ~ Young Minds ~ Supporting Our Children’s Mental Health”

Baby Loss Awareness-Day 3

img_0498

Last night on Eastenders, the character Whitney and her boyfriend Lee were told they’d lost their baby, after a heartbeat wasn’t found.  As someone who’s had miscarriages, for me to watch it was truly heartbreaking, as I imagine it was for others who have experienced miscarriage and baby loss.
At the same time however,  I would like to say, what a perfect day they could show this episode on – the second day of Baby Loss Awareness Week.  Also, a huge “well done” to Shona McGarty and Danny Boy Hatchard for their portrayal of the trauma their characters were going through.

I’d also like to point out, the way Whitney and Lee were treated was how you should be treated during and following a miscarriage. Sadly though, this isn’t always the case.

 

So many women are left after miscarriage to get on with their lives, given no explanation on what happens next, sometimes not even offered a check up to see everything has moved on in their body as it should.  Additionally, more and more women are reporting recently that they have been offered no psychological aftercare following the loss of their baby.

The physical implications following a loss are obvious. Bleeding, cramping, risk of infection etc.

What aren’t so obvious are the psychological implications.

The NHS website explaining what happens following a miscarriage states “A miscarriage can have a profound emotional impact, not only on the woman herself, but also on her partner, friends and family.  Advice and support is available during this difficult time.”

You can read the rest of what the NHS ‘suggest’ should happen here.  To me, this is an unfair and unrealistic outlook on what people should expect following a miscarriage, because, really, it doesn’t always happen like that.

I’ve previously blogged about the lack of aftercare following my 3 recurrent miscarriages and how since those, I’ve been left with mental scars which manifest themselves as PTSD, Anxiety and Depression.

I am not alone. 

This has to change. The need for aftercare is something we shouldn’t need to be campaigning for – it should already be available for all women and their partners and families from the second they’re told that devastating news.

 

The NHS shouldn’t be offering encouragement to women and their families, that they’re not going to get, building hopes up, of counselling and aftercare, when that might not happen.

 

This week especially, but also every day throughout the year should be used to promote the necessity for aftercare after baby loss.

Please Help

Change is needed.

Raise awareness.

For more information on how you can help raise vital funds to help improve the service to parents and families who have gone through, or are going through baby loss, please see;

Tommys Donation Page-where you can find information on how to donate, and what your money will pay for.

Tommys fundraising page-where you can find information on how you can fundraise in numerous ways to help fund the research Tommys would like to be able to do.

The Sands Donation Page-where you can find information on how to donate to their charity and what your money could pay for.

The Sands fundraising page-where you can find out how you can fundraise to raise money for their charity.

#misCOURAGE

12243149_10153736515107329_2172693169349371883_n

As some of you may know, I wrote a blog a little while ago, regarding my experiences with Miscarriages and my feelings on the issues I had.

 

Today I write, about a new campaign run by Tommy’s.

For some reason, the subject of “miscarriages” has always been a very taboo subject.  While having my miscarriages, and after having them, I felt very isolated and lonely, because no one I knew had been through the same thing, and to speak out about it to strangers felt unnatural and in some situations, wrong.

Fear of hearing something you don’t want to, something that won’t help, from people that are saying what they hope is right, doesn’t help anybody dealing with the loss of a baby, at any stage.

What women need, is professional care.

What women need, is research done straight away into why the loss happened.

Tommy’s ran a poll, to see what the statistics were on this subject, from women who have been through it, who feel like they were let down by the medical professionals they had hoped would help them.

Their findings massively resonated with me.

  • 79% of the 5,561 women asked, said they felt like a failure after losing a pregnancy
  • 70% said they felt guilty
  • A massive 85% said they didn’t think people understood what they were going through
  • 67% felt like they couldn’t even speak to their best friend about what had happened to them
  • 35% felt like they couldn’t talk to their father about it

If there was a book entitled “How You Will Feel After A Miscarriage”, the above points would be in it.  Right now, I’m in a situation where I’m gradually becoming more confident to discuss what I’ve been through, but during my miscarriages, I felt all of the above, and more.

You do feel like a failure-but you’re not.

You feel guilty-but you shouldn’t.

You feel like you’re completely on your own, but you’re not.

You should be able to speak to anyone about what you’re going through, and not worry that they’re not going to understand or they’re not going to give you the information you so desperately need.

On Monday the 16th of November, Tommy’s launched #misCOURAGE, their nationwide campaign, across Twitter and Facebook, in order to encourage anyone affected by miscarriage, mums, dads, family, friends, people who have had miscarriages, who are having a miscarriage, to speak up, tell their story, share their experience, to try and raise awareness, break the taboo, and show their support to other women in the same situation.

Tommy’s are aiming to halve the number of miscarriages by 2030 by funding medical research.  They will be opening the UK’s first national Miscarriage Research Centre in collaboration with Imperial College London and Warwick University in April 2016.

This campaign is incredibly close to my heart.  I struggled, alone and unaware of what was happening to me.  I wasn’t given any answers as to why my body couldn’t carry those three babies.  I needed help, explanation and understanding and that service just isn’t currently available.

From today, I will be doing as much as I can to assist the wonderful people at Tommy’s to fund this vital research.

I urge anyone, ANYONE, who has been affected by miscarriages, no matter how many you’ve had, no matter how long ago, to join me and everyone else supporting this cause.  Tell your story, find the courage within you, to help others feel they can tell theirs too, to support the people going through this.

Thank you.

X

For more information and help from the Tommy’s Website click here

For more information on the new research centre, click here

Tommy’s have teamed up with Seraphine and Sophie Ellis-Bextor to raise money, by selling this “The Love” tshirt.  To get yours please click here (and if you share a selfie with you wearing the tshirt, Seraphine will donate an extra £1!)

You can also donate to the research fund here.

And finally, please take part in the Miscarriage is Misunderstood Thunderclap here