What Are Your Favourite Things About Autumn?

Autumn

Autumn is truly on the way people-there’s no getting away from it!

I’ll miss Summer, my tan, my flip flops, having the kids home, beach trips and, well, all things Summer really!
However, I cannot wait for Autumn-my Autumn boots, red hair, wrapped up walks with the kids, candles and little lights on, and evenings getting darker earlier. Continue reading “What Are Your Favourite Things About Autumn?”

Vertu Honda-Why We Love Our Car (even though it’s a bit rubbish)

Vertu Honda asked us to tell them (and you, my lovely readers), why we love our car!

Before I continue, I’d like to point out, we don’t own a flash car-it’s a Renault Laguna. It makes funky noises (not good funky) when you turn it on/move it/turn it, it doesn’t look amazing, and it’s quite old.

However, it is our car, and, we have reasons we love it so much.

Car

Continue reading “Vertu Honda-Why We Love Our Car (even though it’s a bit rubbish)”

Haven-Rockley Park, Dorset-Family Holiday Review-Part 3

FOLLOWING ON FROM THE second PART OF OUR HAVEN HOLIDAY REVIEW (SEE here FOR PART two), I’M BRINGING YOU the third and final INSTALMENT TODAY!

Continue reading “Haven-Rockley Park, Dorset-Family Holiday Review-Part 3”

BOOMF-The Boomf Bomb & Personalised Marshmallows-Review

It was my Birthday last week (Yep, I’m now 31!)  I was spoilt to say the least, but this year, I received Birthday Blogger Mail!  

boomf

Boomf sent me two super-special products from their range of loveliness!

The Boomf Bomb!

Continue reading “BOOMF-The Boomf Bomb & Personalised Marshmallows-Review”

My Dad-A Daughters First Love

A blog I’ve been wanting to write for a long time seems perfect to do this weekend ready for my Dad’s Birthday.

 

“A daughters first love “

I read a lot of quotes, I use a lot-especially in my blogs, then I decide whether I believe them or not!  However, there’s not a shred of doubt that the above quote is 100% true. Continue reading “My Dad-A Daughters First Love”

Guiding Lights-Giving Teachers Recognition 

 

When I was 13, and I’d just about given up on not only ever enjoying school life, but also having confidence in my learning ability-a new English teacher, came to my school. 
Knowing how horrid the girls in my school could be, I tried my hardest to make him feel welcome. I was one of the first people to speak to him, and, three years later, when I was leaving, he reminded me of my kindness in my leavers book. 

Not only did he remind me of a quality in myself I may have otherwise forgotten, our relationship had given me back my thirst for learning, and my confidence in my own abilities.  Continue reading “Guiding Lights-Giving Teachers Recognition “

525,600 Minutes-How Do You Measure A Year?

525,600

I’m unsure if those of you that will read this, are familiar with the above number and the song it relates to.

Seasons of Love is a song from the West End musical, ‘Rent‘.

This song came on a year ago today, on the radio on my TV.  I was doing washing, something not abnormal in my life, but this time, I was doing washing, ten minutes after coming in from the hospital. Continue reading “525,600 Minutes-How Do You Measure A Year?”

Momma Makes-Mother And Daughter Tee Review

we were sent some awesome clothing from Momma Makes!

who are momma makes?

A Mum and Dad team of two-Aimee and Scott, who, after seeing all the beautiful products available on social media, decided they wanted to see even more!
After searching the internet for specific items they required for their own little girl, and having no luck, they decided to make her the things they had hoped to find online! Continue reading “Momma Makes-Mother And Daughter Tee Review”

12 years-Memories On Our Anniversary

Today we celebrate our 12th anniversary.  12 years of memories-the best days and the worst days.  I can’t list 12 years worth of memories-so here are just some…….
On the 28th of March 2005, an 18 year old me, and a 19 year old you met in our local town.  We’d known each other (on and off) since we were 7

Within a few months (6 to be exact), we were on our first holiday together.

The 6th of October 2005 you asked me to be your wife. We didn’t even live together but I knew I wanted to marry you.

At the end of March 2006 we moved in together. Our first flat and we loved it.

5th June 2009. Our world changed. I was pregnant. Unplanned but so wanted we realised we really wanted to be parents.

17th June 2009. You supported me during one of the toughest times. Nanny dying, while I was pregnant and planning our wedding was tough. But you stayed strong for me.

1st August 2009. The day i became your wife.
One of the best days of my life-becoming one with you.

7th February 2010. Our son was born. Kye George Peter Willson, bundled into our lives and turned them upside down. Another of my favourite days-watching you become a Daddy was one of the best things I’ve ever seen.

28th September 2011. Our family was growing. Another baby on the way. Our hearts were fuller then they’ve ever been. Plans for our new arrival were underway.

26th October 2011. Our new baby was gone. 8 weeks 3 days. No heartbeat. No baby.
Once again you were so strong. You kept me going when my world had crumbled.

1st September 2012. We tried for so long to have another baby after we lost our angel. We fell pregnant again. But just days later we lost another angel. I was distraught. You were strong once more.

7th November 2012. Another lost baby. I was done. Numb. No more babies for us. You said we’d see what happened. I was done.

27th January 2013. Emergency appointment at the early pregnancy unit. A scan showed a beating heart. Another chance-our 5th pregnancy.

27th September 2013. Olivia-May Barbara Willson-our rainbow after so many storms. Our family was complete and so was my heart.


Mental Health.

Following Olivia’s 1st birthday-I realised something was wrong. I wasn’t feeling myself and I wanted it sorted.

Since my first visit to the doctor regarding how I felt, up until today, I’ve had counselling, and I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety and depression all caused by my miscarriages.

You give me the support I so often need, so much that I often worry you’re too strong too often.
Since being diagnosed with those mental illnesses, I’ve bought my website. I now write anything I fancy, any time.
My Work.
You often tell me how clever I am. How good my writing is. You don’t realise how much those words mean to me.
I now go to blogger events, often having a meltdown before every single one, and have regular anxiety and panic attacks. But you always have hope and faith in me. You tell me I can do it. You tell me I’ll be fine. You’re always right but you know I’ll not remember the next time I’m facing that battle-so you tell me again and again each time.

You.
You work so hard for our family. I know it’s not easy. I’m so proud you’re so hard working and a perfect role model for our children.
12 years have passed and we’re not the same people we once were. So much has changed. We’ve changed. But we’re still us. We’re still one. We’re still together.

I am grateful for you, I am thankful to fate for bringing us together. And I love you today, and every day.

Happy Anniversary Baby xxx

Celebrating As A Mum Of 5 This Mothers Day #WeAreAllMums

With Mothers Day fast approaching, those with children, throw themselves into celebrating-seldom giving thought to those who aren’t celebrating as they should be able to.

With 1 in 4 women losing a baby during pregnancy or birth, that’s 1 in 4 women, not celebrating being a Mum on a day that should be theirs. 

Then there are those women who’ve had babies before their losses, in between their losses, or after their losses.  Those that are told to be happy that they have children-to be grateful they’ve already got their babies.  Those that are questioned on how they can still dwell on their losses, when they went on to carry their children to term. 

This Mothers Day-we all might spare a thought for those struggling through the day-regardless of circumstance.

 

Every Mothers Day, since I’ve had my children, I receive a card and some gifts from my Son and Daughter.

Something that I don’t mention, is the slight tainted feeling surrounding not just Mothers Day, but most celebrations that my children take part in.

In complete honesty, I long for the cards and gifts I’ll never get given, from the children I’ll never meet.  

I know what people would think/say; how can I long for things from three little blobs on a screen.  Three little “things” that never grew, were never held, never nursed, never seen.

My answer will always be;  because those three “things” were always loved, always wanted, always mine.

Yes I have two children-but I’m a Mum of five.  I carried five babies-regardless of how long for, or the outcome.  I have two babies celebrating Mothers Day with me here on Earth, but three angels I wish I could celebrate with too.

I understand that it doesn’t make sense to some.  I understand people’s assumptions that I should be happy with the two I have.

Most of me is happy-I focus on my two little ones, and the joy I feel when they burst in excitedly, with shouts of HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MUMMY!!!

But the day-to-day grief that has filled my life since we lost our three little ones, is hard enough, without it being amplified during celebrations such as Mothers Day.

Everything is tainted-it has been from the day we lost our first angel.
Everyday is a challenge-it always has been.

But everyday is filled with love-love for my children, my husband, my family and of course, love and constant recognition of my angels.

I’m content in my world, and will continue celebrating another Mothers Day as a Mum of five.

x

 

For more information on the work Tommy’s do-head over to their website https://www.tommys.org/.