Today is the last day of Baby Loss Awareness Week, and, although I’ve shared some previous blogs during the last seven days, I have debated writing this one over and over, deciding finally to share it today.
Something I have always felt strongly about, following not only having my miscarriages, but also since writing about them and hearing other people’s stories, is the need for support following the trauma of baby loss.
I’ve been unlucky-I understand that. As the years move on, miscarriage and baby loss is spoken about more and more, times are changing, people are understanding more about it, and those who need help, more often than not, are now getting it.
Obviously, I didn’t receive any help following my miscarriages, and, as those who read my blogs on the subject will know, this is the reason for my ongoing mental health issues.
I bring up these issues-those of which I am currently managing and coping with well myself, because they are ongoing. I’ll never be cured of PTSD, and therefore will always have the anxiety disorders and depression that comes from that. These things will take a lifetime of management and treatment (if more becomes available), and I’ll obviously always remember the reason I have them.
There are a lot of people out there, who are actively doing things for those who have been through baby loss-I’m always hearing of organisations who have helped people in such an amazing way.
However, over the last few months, I’ve seen the another side.
To clarify the reasons that I write about baby loss, still now, after all this time-it’s mainly because the pain of losing babies, never leaves you. But also because I felt so alone, for so long, I didn’t wish that feeling following loss, affecting anyone else-not even my worst enemy.
So I wrote about it-I write about it, I try and share as much of my writing about it, so that maybe just one person sees it, and feels better knowing they’re not alone. I’ll never stop writing about it and sharing my blogs-because the more I grow as a blogger, and the more my social media following and readers grow, I immediately think about how many more people will feel less alone.
The last few months have shown me, that regardless of how much I want to write about baby loss, or how much I want to raise awareness, there are apparently some random “rules”, that seem to be there not to support me or others in sharing our stories, but instead to segregate some people.
More often than not now, I’m having conversations with people who say certain organisations won’t work with them, because they’ve worked alongside other organisations.
Yes, they’ve worked with other organisations, to get their story to reach further, to get more and more people to read something they put their heart and soul into.
I stupidly and probably naively thought that we were all working towards the same goal, for the same reasons-that we could combine our knowledge and information to help the most amount of people possible.
Ultimately, I thought support was available for everyone-to include everyone, and to bring together those who have suffered from baby loss.
Maybe I was wrong-maybe that isn’t everyones objective anymore.
One thing remains, it’s still my objective to support others and raise awareness. I won’t be stopping because of random rules and segregation.
Tonight, I’ll still be lighting my candle for the Wave of Light, to remember my babies, to remember friends babies, to think of all the babies in the world that were taken too soon.
Please light your candle tonight for all of our little ones.
For more information on Baby Loss Awareness, head over to the website HERE.