Today is day 9 of Blogtober 2017! Today’s theme prompt is ‘Ice Cream’!
A rather vague prompt (aren’t they all), I wondered where I’d go with this subject-as I have a rather love/hate relationship with this cold “treat”.
In My ‘Ice Cream Dreams’.
I don’t literally dream of ice cream-that would be weird. However, I do feel there’s an idea of ice cream, and there’s a reality.
I suppose, this is how I’d like to be with ice cream…
You know those women, in Rom-Com movies, who are sat with a tub of ice cream, and some form of ladle, shovelling spoonfuls of the stuff into their faces with gusto-to get over a shitty day or a breakup? I want to be that woman.
What could be better, than getting over a hormonal breakdown, or a row with your husband, than a tub of Ben & Jerry’s (this isn’t an ad for them-although they are seriously the best ice cream makers of all time-*hint hint*) and a big spoon?
In Ice-Cream Reality.
In reality, that tub of Ben & Jerry’s is a cheap supermarket own brand, because I don’t have enough in the shopping budget for a tub of ice cream costing more than a family meal.
I have the big spoon, but holding onto the ice cream tub makes my hands hurt from the cold. I eat 5 spoonfuls, and not only feel like I may throw up, but also that my brain has frozen to the point I can’t see out of one eye.
Once I’ve put the tub back in the freezer, thawed my hands/brain/eye out, and felt less sick, I then get tummy ache from the cream content in the ice cream’s ingredients. I spend the rest of the night, on the toilet (sorry), no more happy than I was pre-ice cream shovelling, and then put off from eating any more ice cream in the future-for fear of the same repercussions.
‘Ice Cream Dreams’ I have for my children
Oh Instagram, I do love you-if nothing else, than to see perfect family pictures, parents have taken of their little darlings, beautifully sat, licking their ice creams in the sunshine, without any mess, spillages, or tears.
I long for opportunities, where I can take my two for a scoop of a random funky flavour from an ice cream parlour on the beach-and can’t wait to take those oh-so special pictures of them enjoying their treats.
Oh Instagram-how you deceive us.
Where are the pictures of the children dropping their ice creams? Where are their stained t-shirts, messy faces and tantrums when you attempt to help them stop it dripping?
Where are the photos of the sobbing children, who have finished their ice creams, but “still want morrrrrrre”? Or the pictures of the little darlings throwing up their creamy treats in the car on the way home, because they decided inhaling is better than slowly eating?
I’ve genuinely taken to buying them a scoop in a pot with a pissy plastic spoon, despite their protestations on the matter-and getting them a separate cone for the sake of peace and quiet. Aside from that, and keeping fingers crossed in case of a spewing-in-the car incident on the way home, there’s not much else I can do to make these family moments, any more beautiful.
I suppose, if I’m out for dinner, and there’s a pudding on offer, which includes a scoop of ice cream, I’m all good.
I’ll just have to face up to the fact, that I’ll never be that woman who can sit in front of the TV with a tub of ice cream and a spoon, or the Mum who can get her feral children to eat ice cream in a civil manner.
(I do bloody love a few scoops of Pfish Food though…..)