It’s become apparent recently, that people who I think I would like to get to know, or people that think they would like to get to know me, don’t really know what they’re getting themselves into before they speak to me. In short, its wasting quite a lot of my time, thinking “ooh this could be a lovely friendship”, only to have them be put off me because of my traits/looks/personality.
For those that already know me, I’ve mentioned on a few occasions, how I’m a “Marmite Friend”. You either love me or hate me.
For those who don’t already know me, to save my time as much as yours, I thought I’d put together a handy little guide, so you can see if it’s worth getting to know me in the future!
All About ME
- I talk a lot-loudly. This sometimes gets mistaken for rudeness/self confidence/brashness/outspokenness. It’s basically what I just said though, I talk a lot, and I’m loud. I don’t mean anything by it, and actually I really lack in self confidence!
- I’m no oil painting. If you’re after someone who looks good, to join in with yourself and other pretty friends, I’m not the girl for you. Additionally, if you want a friend who’s not majorly attractive, to make you look prettier, I wouldn’t bother with that either. Unfortunately I once had a friend (lets call her ‘K’ – because that’s what her name began with and really I’m doing her a favour she doesn’t deserve anyway, after her behaviour, by hiding her actual name) who actually told me she was only friends with me because I made her look good. That won’t be happening again! Personally, I don’t think looks need to define who a person is, and I would hope, if I was a “pretty girl”, I would have the same outlook.
- I am not my family. I once was told by another lovely girl, that I must be “just like my sister”. Just because we once shared a surname, which I also did with other members of my family, that doesn’t mean I’m anything like them. In fact, I often tell my father, that I think he and I were probably both adopted into the family.
- I’m on facebook. In addition to that admission, I will also openly admit now, that I will a) ask you if you are on Facebook, and probably add you 5 minutes after you confirm you are, b) Tag you (after asking your permission of course) in anything we do together/our kids do together, and c) update my status a lot. These things have caused issues in the past, but once again, this is something that isn’t going to change, therefore, be sure you want that in your life.
- I can be a little flaky. But hey-at least I’m honest about it! My brain is like a sieve sometimes, and I forget a fair amount, double book sometimes, and occasionally forget to reply to messages. 80% of the time, I’m pretty much on the ball though-80% is enough yeah?
- You only get one chance (most of the time). Depending on who you are and how long I’ve known you, I do tend to give one chance if you f**k up. If you’re someone who loves having a little bitch about me behind my back, or goes psycho over something pretty trivial, and when found out, doesn’t apologise or make attempts to sort the issue, I will cut you off…..or in my facebook-loving-terms, delete and block.
- My kids are my world. If yours aren’t, we’re going to struggle. Also, back to the Facebook thing, I share a LOT of photos of them on social media. So if you don’t really like your kids or seeing other peoples, I’m probably not the friend for you.
- I’m 30 going on 50. I have a dislocating hip, sciatica in my arse, rheumatism in my right wrist (mainly only in winter), and I love nothing more than a blanket and a hot chocolate. I’m at the age where, once in a few months, a drink in a wine bar, sat in big comfy chairs, having a chin wag, would suit me down to the ground, but aside from that, nights out are no longer my “thing”. Those re-finding their youth? Good on you! But I won’t be joining you.
I’m well aware, many of those points are highlighting my weaknesses rather than my strengths as a friend-so, for want of not alienating the entire population of prospective pals, (or the PPP as I have now abbreviated it to) here are some good points I’ve come up with……
- I’m fiercely loyal. If we’re friends, (and you haven’t tried to screw me over etc) I’ll be just that. Loyalty means a lot to me and unfortunately there isn’t enough of that in friendships nowadays.
- I’m a really good listener. I said above that I talk a lot, and I do! However, I’m a really good listener too. I don’t know everything (contrary to what people assume I think about myself), but I will give advice when needed or wanted, and help where I can.
- I’m genuine. Once we’re friends, that’s it. I’ll be my true self, no matter what. No falseness, no dishonesty. Just me.
- I can cheer you up-pretty easily. A trait passed down from my father to me, I’ve always been the “class joker” (or class joke as the bullies from my school used to call me). As long as the situation needs it, I will usually help most issues with some form of humour. I personally think this is a good thing-you don’t always need it, but then you don’t always need a friend that cries each time you do, or that hides away when the going gets tough.
I’m well aware, there’s not as many good things in that list, and that’s where my lack of self confidence comes in, but I would hope my actual friends would be able to add to that list!
In summary, if you’re not put off with the things I’ve listed, we could probably be friends, (assuming you’re not some kind of nutter obviously).
Lets not waste time anymore, trying to start relationships with the wrong people, or forcing something that just won’t work. At the age we’re at, there’s no need for massive groups of “friends”, that you can’t trust implicitly, that don’t love you for you.
*The Marmite photo was
taken borrowed off of the marmite website here-I love marmite, just in case you were wondering.