Even at the grand ol’ age of 31 (almost 32), there are still life lessons to be made. During the last 24 hours, I’ve learned a valuable one-one I thought I’d share with you all.
Now bear with me, because I think you’re all going to assume you’ve got this down-that you know the answer to the above question “Do you really know who you’re sharing with?”
Some of you really may know exactly who you’re sharing your personal thoughts and feelings with, and that’s great! But I learnt the hard way, and I wanted to make sure no one else had to go through the same thing!
I actually think the question I should’ve asked at the beginning of this is not “do you know who you’re sharing with”, but rather “do you trust those you’re sharing with?”
Lets dissect your ‘friends’ list for a second-that simple word of “friends”. Are the people on your list actual friends? Because that’s kinda what Facebook mean when they ask you to “add a friend”.
My list for example, before a rather brutal ‘friend’ cull tonight, consisted of actual friends (not many), family, and what I would definitely call “acquaintances I’ve collected along the way”.
I had people from “due in” groups-those of you reading this, who have children, will probably have added people from a “due in” group from when you were pregnant-but after a few years, you’re basically “friends” with each other to nose into each others lives! I worked out that at least two of these people, I genuinely hadn’t spoken to in over two years!
Ex work colleagues, ex school friends you didn’t overly like when you went to school with them, the list goes on-these aren’t “friends”, these are collectables-people you’ve accumulated through the years!
Then one day, something happens that makes you realise just how important, actually knowing these people is.
I wrote a post recently, out of several feelings-anger, upset, frustration, amusement-you name it, it was in there. Then I wrote a second, because firstly, I was still all of those things, and secondly, I can write what I want on my own personal Facebook-right? WRONG! A mutual friend of the person these posts were about, took it upon themselves to send my posts over to them-which in turn created a whole mountain of crap I then had to deal with in my real ‘away from Facebook’ life.
I know what some of you may be thinking-I shouldn’t have put something in the first place-but I thought my friends list was a safe place to share my feelings-I certainly didn’t imagine what had happened, happening.
I also know that some of you will be thinking “yeah well I know my friends list is full of trustworthy people-they wouldn’t do something like that!
And I get that, I really do-I thought the same, because I wouldn’t do something like that!
What you really have to ask yourself over and over is-are you sure you’re sure you can trust them? IF there’s even the slightest doubt in your mind, hit that delete button. Being nosy and being able to see into someone elses life, isn’t worth the risk to your trust.
Tonight, I’ve reduced my friends list into only people I genuinely trust-I’ve even deleted family-not close family, but those who are on there because they’re on others lists, not because I really wanted them to be.
I now know (I hope) that I can trust everyone that’s left on my list-but as with all social media platforms, there’s always a risk.
I suppose what I’m saying is, be sure-be certain you have who you want and trust on your social media, and be careful what you say and who you say it to, if you have any doubts-don’t share it.