contraceptive

Coming off of the contraceptive pill after 13 years

So, most of you know already that my Husband and I decided that two children was enough for us-especially after losing three babies between our two children.  Aside from the fact, I personally just couldn’t deal with the grieving and heartache that miscarriage brings with it physically and mentally, our second child wasn’t as easy going as our first, and we knew two was plenty with chalk and cheesE as our kids!

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harley street

Harley Street Hair Clinic-FUE Hair Transplant Procedure

Before I begin this blog, I know you’re probably thinking, what could I possibly have to say about hair transplants!

However, what those of you who have never met me or my Husband will know, is that we have more experience in hair loss than you’d think!

My Husband began losing his hair in his 20’s.  It began with just thinning, but eventually he slowly lost the hair on the top of his head.

A member of his family had a hair transplant, but I asked him at the time if he’d want to do the same, and he said he wasn’t bothered.  I think as time went on, that decision would’ve changed but we just didn’t have the opportunity.

Nowadays, he shaves it all off-even the bits that still grow!  I couldn’t imagine him with hair now, and he’s happy with how he looks, but I do wonder if he’d heard about the FUE Procedure at the Harley Street Hair Clinic, he’d have made a different decision.

 

What is the FUE Procedure?

FUE-Follicular Unit Extraction, sometimes referred to as follicular unit transplantation, is the modern technique of hair restoration. FUE is a more advanced method of hair transplants than previous techniques like strip harvesting transplantation or FUT (Follicular Unit Transplantation).

During an FUE transplant, a highly experienced doctor extracts hair follicles from the donor area, typically the back of the neck, using a specialised extraction instrument less than 1mm in diameter. Follicles are then transferred to the recipient area on your scalp and implanted using a powerful stereo microscope in groups of one to four hairs, just as they grow in nature.
This is a Minimally invasive,surgical procedure so you will remain fully conscious the whole time as only local anesthetic is required. Recovery time is short and the risk of complications is low.
After the procedure we will provide you with clear instructions on aftercare, as well as medication and topical treatments to give you the best result possible.
FUE differs from normal hair transplants in several ways. The first is that it is noticeable for not leaving any linear scars, or any noticeable changes (other than a renewed lease of life for your hair.)
Once you have undergone FUE, the results are permanent. While the initial transplanted hair will shed a few weeks after treatment, it will grow back strong and healthy.

How much does it cost?

The FUE hair transplant cost varies-but on the Harley Street Hair Clinic website there is plenty of information to work out how much it will cost you. Click HERE for the cost details.

For even more information on the procedure and how it all works-head over to the website HERE.

 

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Mums

Christmas Gift Guide 2017 ~ Gifts for Busy Mums

It’s that time of year again people-the last payday before Christmas is almost upon us, so the panic buying can commence!
So, I’ve taken it upon myself to give you a helping hand-and give you some ideas for presents with some handy gift guides!

Today’s gift guide is the most important (don’t let anyone tell you different!)

This is a gift guide, for busy Mums!

 

Mums Continue reading

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Message

My Message To You

This is by far one of the easiest blogs I think I’ve ever written, and will probably ever write.

It is a blog filled with different messages-those of hope, sadness, disbelief, anger, thanks and fellowship.

For months (possibly years), I’ve been blogging about my experiences of baby loss, trying to raise awareness for recurrent miscarriages and mental health issues surrounding and following on from losing a baby.

Most of the blogs I write, highlight two major mental health issues, incidentally, two I suffer from-anxiety and depression.  But these issues stem from one other diagnosis I have also been given, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Continue reading

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Pro-Choice, Pro-Abortion, Pro-Women’s Rights

Pro

I really wasn’t sure if I was going to write this post, let alone publish it for judgemental eyes to read.

As most of my readers will be aware-maybe the reason they’d be surprised at the content of this blog-I have had three miscarriages between having Kye and Olivia.  It took us two years to get Olivia, and after the heartache of losing babies, I can understand if people are a little shocked that I would write about this kind of thing. Continue reading

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when

When Meeting Your Idol Goes Wrong

Did you ever meet someone you really looked up to, someone that empowered you to do what you now do?

Did you imagine a day would come when you’d come to face to face with them, and they’d be everything you’d imagine?

I did.  And that’s probably where it all went wrong.

You see, now I’ve experienced the meeting of my idols going wrong, I realise that we completely idealise what these people are going to be like in “real life”.  You see them behind a screen, behind Facebook/Instagram videos.  You read their stories, follow their lives.-and you paint a picture of what they must be like.

Not so long ago, I had the chance to meet three-yes three-of my blogging idols.  I’d fan-girled over one of them since before I began writing, even more so since I started the blog, and realised they blogged too.  To have the opportunity to see three of them all in the same room was possibly one of the most exciting things for me.

They happen to all be friends with each other now, close in their success, celebrating each others achievements-an indication of how kind I thought they’d be.

 

I’m pretty certain we all start off in the same place-at the beginning.  So why do those who have achieved more, find it so easy to forget their humble beginnings when meeting someone in that same starting position.
Looking down their noses at those who turned to see them, they stood with the air of celebrity, I personally hadn’t though of any of them having before.

After spending my life, avoiding cliques, these three women, who write about being strong, and independent, were stood avoiding anyone who didn’t look like they’d fit in with them.

Maybe it’s me-maybe I imagined them to be too good, more kind, at least humble.  All I found were three women who did their best to ruin that expectation, and disappoint not only me, but others who were there to see them too.

After all that disappointment, I’m now intrigued;

Is it best to leave meeting your idols if you get the chance-for fear of being desperately disappointed?  Or do we take a risk-and hope just one remembers where they started?
I really don’t know the answer-but in my line of work, the chances of meeting more of my idols is high-as is now the fear of their true selves.

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Down

Down With Gender Roles-It’s 2017 For Goodness Sake!

 

The other night I had a conversation with my friend-she was telling me how a neighbour from her building came and kindly offered the use of her washing line, now that the weather is better, so my friend didn’t have to use her tumble dryer as much.

Unfortunately during the conversation with my friends husband, she inadvertently asked him to tell his wife that when she did her washing to feel free to use it.

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Being an elderly lady, we did suggest that in the era she is from, it would be the female that did the washing and therefore it just happened to be how she worded it.

As the conversation continued however, I explained how, in the last month I’ve really struggled to juggle all my “jobs”.

I’m not ashamed to say I haven’t worked since before I had Kye.
What with having him, then losing our three babies, then falling pregnant with Olivia – there just wasn’t a time that felt appropriate for me to work.

Now however, as you know from reading my blogs-I’m a little busier than I once was.
I write daily-I review frequently for a variety of companies and events.
On top of all of that, I’m primarily a Stay at Home Mum and Wife, which means school and nursery runs, housework, shopping, bill paying, school event attending, and outside of all of that, family events-Birthdays etc to attend and remember.
I’m not ashamed to say, I have been struggling of late.

To do all of the above-and having got it all down to my idea of a fine art-I decide to go and get me a website-a blog, and to make myself ridiculously busy, working for free to build my audience up.

I LOVE my jobs. I make no qualms about any of it-those who know me, know I’m a happy Mummy to my two children, I’m married to my best friend, and I really love writing.

The conversation myself and my friend were having was really about how we’re supposed to juggle all of these things-even when we go and get ourselves a job.
Why are we made to juggle and spread ourselves even more thinly between our jobs, but it doesn’t change for the partner/dad/husband?
Why don’t the jobs get shared equally?
Why doesn’t the overwhelming struggle they see us go through, make them want to help?!

And the only conclusion I can get from it all-like the little old lady from my friends building, is that 2017 hasn’t actually moved as far forward as we’d have liked it to.

Generations are still relying on the female in the family to juggle jobs and home life, while the male is still seen as the bread winner.
(I’d just like to add here-my husband does help to an extent and I know plenty of families where the male does his fair share-and sometimes more. My point is that a large percentage of families aren’t like that.)



It makes me wonder, will I ever see the change I think is needed, in my lifetime?

I hope so-and if not in my lifetime, I pray it happens in my daughters.

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Tommy’s Reduced Fetal Movement Campaign


Today’s blog is for the baby charity, Tommy’s who are leading a campaign to raise awareness of reduced fetal movements during pregnancy.  The campaign is supported by Kicks Count and NHS England, alongside the hashtags #movementsmatter and #KickMeBabyOneMoreTime. 
This is a campaign particularly close to my heart.  As some of you may know, I have been pregnant 5 times.  During the first pregnancy with my son, I wasn’t aware at all of checking the amount of times my baby moved.  In all honesty, I sailed through that pregnancy, and didn’t give a second thought that anything could go wrong.  As I mention in a previous blog, The Mummy He Used To Know, I pretty much took the entire pregnancy for granted (without realising of course).

Then over the following couple of years, we endured the traumas of three recurrent miscarriages.  And I suppose that’s where everything changed.  I ended up with severe anxiety, and, when falling pregnant with my daughter, I panicked constantly, from beginning to end, that we were going to lose her.

That’s when I did some research into reduced fetal movement.  I wanted to make sure I was feeling my baby girl move as much as she should be, and what to do when those movements were reduced.

On only one occasion, did I have to act upon my concerns for my baby, when, along with horrific pain, a temperature and faintness, I hadn’t felt her move for the best part of an afternoon.  I did all the websites told me to do, ate something sugary, drank a cold drink, laid on different sides.  Nothing.

I called the maternity unit in my local hospital and was told to come in.  In fairness I was pretty adamant I was coming in, so I’m not sure I gave the leading midwife much choice!  In all honesty, the pain was bad enough to take me up there but the reduced movements, alongside my already anxious mind pushed me further.

The pain ended up being a urine infection, (another beautiful pregnancy effect, people fail to mention will more than likely happen to you!)  The reduced movements, were nothing serious.  The midwife said the pain I was in with the urine infection were more than likely masking the movements, and I was so focused on the pain I just hadn’t noticed her moving.  All was fine, and I went on to have a healthy baby girl.

The difference between my story and so many others, is that sometimes, a mum-to-be won’t go and get checked.  52% of women asked, during a recent survey, have said, they would be worried about looking for help when they notice reduced movements due to a fear of “wasting midwives time”.  Please don’t worry about wasting anyones time.  Midwives are there to care for you and your baby, go to them if you think anything is wrong with your baby during pregnancy.  Trust your instincts.

You are never wasting a midwifes time with your concerns.  You know your body, and you know the baby growing inside you.  If you think there’s a problem, get it checked.  The age old quote “it’s better to be safe than sorry” should be imprinted on your mind during pregnancy.  The alternative just isn’t worth the risk.

 

In a recent study, around half of women who had a still birth, said that they had noticed that their babies movements had slowed down.

For every 220 babies born in the UK, 1 is stillborn, and in the UK we rank 24th out of 49 high-income countries for the amount of stillbirths that occur.* For a country with such an impressive healthcare service, this isn’t acceptable.  1 in 220 is not ok!

That’s why this campaign has been set up.  To raise awareness of reduced fetal movements and to help mums-to-be, whether this is their 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 4th baby, that they must seek help if they feel something is wrong.

In Norway, a similar campaign was run, and it cut the rate of stillbirth down by a third-we could do that here in the UK too!

Tommy’s have provided me with this lovely link to a video about reduced fetal movements.  Please take a look as it explains so much about what I have highlighted so far.  


 

There is no specific number that everyone must follow to count the number of movements a baby has.  You know how much your baby moves.  Personally, both of mine, moved more in the afternoon and evening than they did in the morning.  Your baby may be different.  All pregnancies are different, and what is a normal amount of movements for your baby, will not be the same as another mums.  Comparing them and panicking because your friend/family member has a more active baby isn’t how this works.  You will know your baby has reduced the amount of movements, because you become aware of their natural individual pattern.

 

If you’re reading this, currently pregnant, and think you could do with getting checked out because you haven’t felt your baby move as much today, call your midwife.  If she’s not available, call your local hospital maternity unit.  Be insistent.  Explain your concerns and that you would like to be checked out.  Do not put that phone call off until the next day.

As I said, this sort of information wasn’t available when I had my son, but it was when I was pregnant with my daughter.  I recommend using this information for yourselves, but also spreading the word to your other mummy-to-be friends, who either may not have a clue about any of it, or may have been misinformed in the past and need clarification.

Sharing this, could save a babies life.  We could prevent that 1 in 220……

Thank you.

*Statistics taken from Tommys research. 

To find out more about reduced fetal movements and the Tommys campaign-click here

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Memories

Lost Memories

If anyone follows my blog, or regularly reads the things I post, you’ll know about my history with Anxiety, Depression and PTSD following a lack of aftercare when I had 3 recurrent miscarriages a few years ago.

For those who haven’t read any, my basic background is that, between having my son and daughter, myself and my husband lost 3 babies.  We were offered nothing in the way of aftercare, no psychological help, and because of that, years later, I’m now suffering from several mental health issues.

Today, after a trip to the park with the little ones, I decided to sort the vast amount of photos and videos on my laptop out, and add them onto my external hard drive.  What I hadn’t anticipated was the sheer amount of them I actually own.  On the laptop alone there were over 8000 (whoops!)

I added them and decided to sit and nose through the old photos I’d already stored on the hard drive, and in doing so, came across the last six years worth of memories.  I’m going to go ahead and use the term “memories” loosely-you’ll read why further down.

While going through them, I remembered around 90% of them, whether that was taking them, or seeing them from someone else.

I know some memories don’t make it to the “long term memory” part of your brain (I’ve just completed a diploma in psychology-this was one of the modules), but I do remember the majority.

I then flicked through until I came to my daughters last three years worth of photos and videos.
We all sat round, giggling at how little, funny and sweet my daughter was (and still is-sometimes), and discussing with my son when they were taken etc.  It was then, that I realised something pretty sad-I didn’t remember the majority of them.

Of course, I know I took them, I remember roughly the reason behind them, the time (roughly) they were taken, but I cant remember being there, enjoying that moment, like I did with my son.  Quickly switching the laptop off, I tried to reassure myself.  I have a lot going on, most days, and what with the issues left behind from the miscarriages, my mind isn’t as clear as it used to be.

Then it dawned on me, what if those two things were connected?!

After putting the children to bed, I opened Google on my laptop.  I’d love to say I was wrong in my suspicions, but unfortunately I’m not.

I found out that the hormone cortisol, which is released when you’re stressed, is known to prevent the formation of memories, and therefore causes memory loss.  Because anxiety tends to be a long term issue, you’re putting your body through almost constant stress, therefore releasing a harmful amount of cortisol into your body.  Additionally, anxiety also distracts you, making your mind wander, therefore hindering your ability to remember what’s happening in the here and now.

PTSD is one of the biggest causes of anxiety, because of the trauma sustained.

I have to count myself as one of the lucky ones, even if it doesn’t feel that way.  I have thousands of videos and photos I’ve taken of my kids, and my “memories” can be in front of me at the click of a button.  However, what I find that infuriates me more than anything, is that this could have all have been prevented.   This is yet another thing mental health has taken from me, primarily down to the lack of aftercare I received.

Its just another thing I’ll have to live with, and slowly come to terms with.

I know I say it a lot on the end of these types of blog posts, but its SO important that the message is sent out.  If you, someone you know, just anyone you hear about, has gone through even one miscarriage, or a trauma, make sure they’re battling as hard as they possibly can to get help.  And if you/they can’t find that strength to do it for themselves, if their minds and bodies are just too bloody exhausted from fighting to get through each day, then help them, help those around you to get medical help.

Because the life they’ll lead without it, isn’t worth thinking about.

X

 

For immediate help or if you’re worried about someone’s mental health while they’re stuck on waiting lists/doctors lists, click the following links for advice.  There’s also a link for advice following miscarriage(s) from an amazing organisation, Tommys.

The Samaritans

Mind

Anxiety UK

Tommys

 

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Missing:Female Solidarity

girlscompete


Not so long ago, I was verbally attacked from out of the blue, without provocation of the other person, via a well known social network.

The person attacking me?  A fellow woman.

Her words have played on my mind since I received the messages, not because I’m hurt by them, but because slowly, I’m losing my faith in womanhood and solidarity amongst other women.

Most days I find myself on the other end of a fellow females harsh words or opinions on my life choices, my appearance, the friends I choose, and even my past decisions or life choices!

I’m not going to go into detail about what was said, because I’ve come to realise, she doesn’t deserve the exposure.

Instead, I will say, to the women who feel the need to bring themselves down to a level so low, that they berate others for things that should never be used to define people, you have absolutely no place in the society I think we need.

Since dealing with people thinking they can throw hurtful comments around, I have noticed, slowly, but surely, the different cliques and groups of girls hating girls are having the tables turned by those they’re choosing as their “next victims”.

 

More and more I’m seeing, groups forming wherever I go, and the victims these people choose to take their issues out on, are forming their own groups.

These are not groups of people who want to take others down, but who plainly share their stories, who share their hurt and damage they’ve received from others.

If this is how life is to continue, if we’re to live knowing at any point we could be subjected to abuse and character assassinations, sometimes by people that don’t even know us, I will pin my hopes on the victims of these verbal attacks, taking over.  Not to do harm but to show how in the end, there is still female solidarity in the world.

 

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I will bring my daughter up, exactly how I was brought up, being empowered by fellow human beings, especially strong, independent women, no matter what they wear, how they look, or what choices they decide to make with regards to their lives.

Women should empower women.

Women should support women.

Solidarity amongst women should never be jeopardised or squandered.

strong-women

 

Please remember this blog, for the people it stands up for, and for the people it stands against.

 

Signing off,

One Woman

x

 

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